Because He Knows You
by egoXlockheart
Summary: Because he knows your heart will melt at the sight of him. Because he's been living with you for a year and knows what makes you tick. Because he knows you can't be alone. Dark fic! Akuroku


A/N:

BLEH! PLEASE REVIEW! I can't decide what to make of this. I don't know if I like the end, or the middle... or just about all of it. I don't think I explained everything enough, and I think the flashback at the end might throw people off, so PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED OPINIONS! (And, I hope you like it!)

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Except the plot. But I'm sure it's been done before. T.T

Warnings: Character Deaths. Yaoi.

* * *

You think you'd know the person you love. You think you'd know everything about them. Things other people didn't. You know they hated their father, their favorite color was red, that they were a pyro. You think that after three years of sharing a house with a person, you'd be able to trust them.

So why didn't you know?

You knew he ran away from home at sixteen. You knew he'd wanted to travel the world. You knew about his secret addiction to video games.

Yet you didn't know this.

No one had told you.

So he finally decided to. He shows up at your door. (His door too.) Apologizing. Apologizing. For God's sake, APOLOGIZING! Holding flowers. Tulips. Of course they'd been your favorite. Guess you now have to cross tulips off your list. In his other hand sat white chocolate. Because he knows you. Because he knows your heart will melt at the sight. Because he's been living with you for a year and knows what makes you tick. Because he knows you still sometimes have nightmares about your past. Because he knows you can't be alone.

But that doesn't matter.

You didn't know what he'd done, and now he will no longer know you. At this thought you smile wryly, without realizing it leading him on. Looking up at him and his overly eager-to-please eyes, your smile brightens. You open your mouth to speak.

"No, me first." You promptly close your mouth. "I..." he begins. You wait in the door frame; it's a chilly night, but you don't mind, and you aren't letting him into the house yet. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done it. Please, dear. Please forgive me." You aren't impressed, and it shows in the tight line on your mouth.

"_Forgive you?" _That was it for the apology. You want to laugh, but you think it might hurt too much. You had expected, what with the flowers and chocolates, some huge show with tears and kneeling on the step. It's quite a possibility now that he might just turn around and leave, giving the gifts to whomever. "I was planning on it," not really, "but after that pathetic excuse for an apology, I don't think I will."

"You're right." Here it comes. "I'm so, so sorry my dearest love, my Roxas. I should have never ever cheated on you. It was wrong, and I don't know what had possessed me to do it, especially considering I have this wonderfully beautiful boyfriend back home." And his eyes are desperate, and searching yours. You sigh heavily, closing your eyes and tilting back your head. You open them, hoping he's gone, but of course he's still standing there like an idiot, still waiting and beginning to shiver a little in the February cold.

Looks like the show's about to begin. Curtain call, everyone.

"Yeah, you're an idiot all right." You bite your bottom lip cutely in an attempt to swallow a grin, "but you're my idiot."

Relief floods his face. You aren't sure the exact reason, but you guess it's because you're the one supplying the roof over his head, and therefore without you he'd be screwed. He hurries toward you and before you know what's happening you feel your body being lifted up into a snug embrace. He's around you now, you can smell the cinnamon, smoke, and shampoo that was uniquely Axel and you can't help but hug him back. Of course, it's all part of your plan. (You remind yourself.) He releases you (all too soon) and heads into the house. He doesn't even take notice of the fact that you haven't completely recovered from his 'mistake' and you weren't done hugging him. This would all be over soon.

It was late, past dark. Axel was reading in the living room. You sat in the chair across from him, waiting to see if he'd look up. He didn't. You cleared your throat loudly, drawing attention to yourself. After a moment, he closed his book and raised his eyebrow in your direction.

"So, I was wondering, why did you do it?" Axel stared at you for a bit. You supposed he was either gathering his thoughts or figuring out what you were referring to.

"I. . ." You folded your arms across your chest expectantly. "I was ashamed." You are taken aback by this, but don't dare let it show. Axel laughed. "I know you're surprised. Don't hide it. Yeah, I was ashamed I was gay. I went out and tried to be normal. I went out and had sex with a few girls, even had a girlfriend for a while. Somehow I still ended up back here."

Suddenly you don't know what to feel. You're happy he's telling you the truth, angry that he'd been with so many girls – and had a girlfriend, upset that he felt ashamed of them, relieved he didn't hate your guts. You fall back into the cushions.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said-"

"No. I'm glad you did." You still can't bear to look at him.

-

That night you lay in bed seemingly unable to fall asleep. Axel was snoring next to you. He offered to sleep on the couch for the night, but you had to make him sleep here. You had to remind yourself how much you hated him now. Plot. Plan. Knowing the whole story just made you angrier. He never loved you. If he had loved you, he wouldn't have been ashamed of being with you. If he had loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. If he had loved you, he wouldn't have been so quick to come back. If he had loved you, if he had loved you, if he had loved you…

_Why? How?_ Your eyes watered up, but you pushed the tears back. You wouldn't cry for him. You couldn't.

Somehow, after staying up late thinking, your mind was blank. What would make him pay? Eventually, as much as you fought it, you fell asleep.

"Roxas! Roxas! Wake up!!" You open your tired blue orbs to see Axel hovering over you.

"Why? I'm so tired…"

"Why? You were screaming and thrashing! You knocked me out of bed!" Giddy with sleep, you laugh at the distressed face.

"Smile! Haha, I knocked you out of bed..." Your fingers twist the corners of his mouth up awkwardly. You look at the clock and mentally count the couple hours you ended up having asleep. It was weird, usually you remember your nightmares, but tonight you didn't remember a thing, except last night. Last night! You groan. Axel gives you a look. You were probably acting mentally challenged right now or something. Eh, whatever. You decided to go with it.

Reaching up, you tangled your hand in Axel's red hair. Such soft, lovely red hair. You smiled, and pulled him onto the bed with surprising strength. His expression is surprised, but not too upset about the situation. You roll over, so you're on top of him, and kiss him. You moan softly. You kiss him again and again, and then open your mouth for a longer kiss. When you both pull back to breathe, you don't really stop. You move your mouth down to his neck and suck and kiss that spot. He groans and gives you better access. Perfect. You bite down. _Hard._

"What the hell, Roxas?!" Axel jumps back. You see a spot of red on his neck. Smiling seductively and flicking your eyes up to meet his for a minute, you continue. You bite all over his neck, creating bloody holes. He is thrashing at this point, and you are struggling to stay on him. You can't help but kiss each of the spots gently before moving away.

"I love you, Axel. I love you so much. I love you so much it hurts. It hurts that I love you, it hurts that you don't love me, it hurts that you're ashamed of me, Axel." He is still now. Does he see? Has he finally opened his eyes to the reality before him? Maybe he knew all along. Maybe it was another on the list.

No time to think. You're across the room, and attacking him again. He's strong, but you're smaller and more agile. You grab his neck from behind and squeeze. You grab his neck from behind and wait for him to die. He is trying to pull you off, but realizes he's only making it harder for him to breath. You feel his blood and sweat drip on your hands, but you don't care. It's his fault. He hurt you.

Eye for an eye.

He falls on his knees, then the ground, and you laugh. You probably shouldn't laugh. The truth will probably hit you later, things like this always do.

You think you'd know the person you love. You know that he hates tea, that his favorite number is eight, he hates whiners and complainers, he loves watching the sunset. You know that he has an ear for music, as well as secrets – you can take his word they're safe. He wears black clothes far too often, and goes out in the sun far too less.

He would know everything about you, too. If he ever listened like you thought he did, he'd know you had three sisters and a brother, loved twilight and night time best, looked forward to going to the beach every summer. Your favorite food was ice cream, and you had always wanted a pet.

It was your turn to apologize, now. "I'm sorry Axel. I didn't mean to, I really didn't. I just wanted to protect my heart. Well, maybe I don't have one anymore since I just killed someone. Yes, I suppose I am heartless now. Guess that would make me a nobody. I don't know. I probably have a heart in me somewhere, considering I was in love…"

Was. Past tense. Never again. Your body, The soul reminder of this life. Still living. Present tense. Now, you realize what had been missing in your plan. The terrible fate that all murderers must eventually suffer.

You thought he knew you.

He never truly did.

So you set up, hang yourself to die. It's better than living with the shame, of murder, of convincing yourself everything had been okay. You _should have seen sooner, things had never been okay._

_-_

"_Hey," a gruff voice called. It sounded distant, and you walked into the hall to be greeted by an exhausted Axel._

"_Long day at work?"_

"_It was awful." You catch his eye and smile weakly, attempting to make him feel better. You tried too hard. You really did sometimes. You followed him into the kitchen, taking his coat and setting dinner on the table. You waited for him to say it. You sat opposite him and twisted the ring on your middle finger. The ring he'd given to you as a promise that he would never leave you. The meal finished in cold silence, and it was strange, not only because you and he used to talk all the time, but because this man was becoming more and more distant. Still, you tried. You tried to get him to love you. You tried to show him you cared._

_When the redhead sat down to read like he did every night,_ _you snuck upstairs and got things ready for bed because you knew he'd be waiting. This was routine. It was how things had gone for almost as long as you could remember, though you were sure there had been a different time. It was stupid, really, to have expected a variation from the routine tonight. Very, very stupid indeed._

_Axel came up and saw a small gift box on his side of the bed. "What's this for." You come up behind him, giving him a tight embrace._

"_You've been working too hard lately. That's all." When the only thing you got in return was a grunt, you offer, "Aren't you going to open it?" And he did. It was a beautiful watch you had wasted far too much money on, then again was there ever a limit of money when it was the person you loved? You knew he'd liked this, you'd seen him eying it the last time you both went to the mall together. He was silent for a time. Maybe he finally remembered. Maybe he'd apologize for his mistake. You would have let it go, and he knows you would have. Maybe, you try to convince yourself, maybe that's why he didn't bother saying anything. Yes, that was the reason, and he hadn't forgotten. It would probably have been less painful to convince yourself he had._

_You stared up at the dark ceiling that night, listening to the breaths of the redhead next to you. When they finally evened out, you whispered ever so softly, "Happy Anniversary, Love." _

_-_

He knew you. He knew you too well. He had managed to shatter all the walls built around you, and infiltrate your heart. You used to relish in the feeling, but now you just felt violated and dirty. Things would be much better now, you told yourself. Slowly, slowly, you closed your eyes, slowed your breathing, and waited for your body to die.

* * *

A/N: DON'T HURT ME?!?!

And yah. Roxas hung himself. O:


End file.
